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All Aboard the Emotional Express

drmkandle

Updated: Nov 21, 2024


Something terribly painful has happened. A heartbreak of loss, death, betrayal, abuse, abandonment, or trauma, has rocked your ship to its core. The anguish feels overwhelming and dangerous to face head on. Somehow this pain must be dealt with so that it doesn’t consume you.


Emotional overwhelm can either gush out uncontrollably or get locked down through defense mechanisms of repression, distraction, and/or the anesthesia of alcohol, drugs, food, screens, and medicine. Though possibly helpful in the short term, none of these responses are adequate for recovery and healing. For that, one needs to climb aboard for a journey on the Emotional Express.


Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the well-known model of grieving that involves a journey through different stages – denial, anger, bargaining, and depression – before arriving at a state of acceptance. Though the theory is outdated, the concept of journeying through different emotional experiences toward a destination of restored peace remains sound. Let’s take a closer look at the journey through emotional agony and how the Emotional Express can help transport you toward healing.


Imagine the smooth prairies of your life are suddenly thrown into upheaval by a cataclysmic event, creating an emotional terrain of forbidding mountains, deep canyons, dark tunnels, rushing waters, and extreme weather. The shock is so great that your instinct is to run and hide. Succumbing to this instinct prevents us from traveling through the pain, which is the only way we can reach new prairies of peace.


No one can be blamed for avoiding the extremes of emotional pain. Intense fear, grief, guilt, shame, depression, fury, hatred, humiliation, and despair are agonizing and potentially destructive experiences. Tragically, some people even choose to end their lives. The alternative is to get help.


Imagine help arriving in the form of a train that will transport you through the territory of your emotional trauma to your next peaceful prairie. This train comes with your own personal conductor who knows exactly how to guide you through your journey. Your interactions with your conductor will get you through as safely and effectively as possible.


The first thing your conductor will ask you to do is express your thoughts and feelings about your hardships and traumas. Sharing these memories will trigger pain, just like an antiseptic does when cleansing an open wound. Your conductor will listen closely, understand your experience without judgement, empathize with your feelings, and reassure you that the loving compassion about this train will make it possible to heal. It will take time. Together you can look out the window to witness the scenes of misfortune that you need to heal from. The conductor has seen it all before, and worse. You can now revisit the memories, emotions, and thoughts associated with those scenes from the safety of this train and the support of your conductor.


There’s a saying; “you can’t heal what you can’t feel.” That’s what the Emotional Express is here to help you with. Allow your emotions to be felt, expressed, and let your conductor respond with complete understanding and compassion. You might also find this from a family member, trustworthy friend, a love partner, a support group, a spiritual advisor, or a therapist. These can all be passengers on your trainride to help you on your healing journey.

Our hearts are a splendid things – both strong, and sensitive. They get wounded and require healing. Look for trains and conductors that will help you on your journey.

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